Kids’ Food Allergies: 5 Annoying Things People Say

My kids’ food allergies have been an ever present challenge, family debate, and travel obstacle that has been part of my parenting journey since it began. None of them are life-threatening, so family members and friends say things to my kids (and me) like, “What’s the big deal? Can’t you cheat just this once? What’s one time going to do?”

As if it’s a weight loss diet, or something. As if it were a lifestyle choice.

Because, while kids’ food allergies do sometimes go away as they get older, they often don’t. And you know what pretty much ensures that they don’t?

“Cheating.”

Kids’ food allergies are serious business. It’s the reason for those “No Peanut Zone” signs in preschools and lunchrooms. However, in my personal experience, most people are not aware of the other seven common allergens (plus corn). Either that, or they don’t understand that those allergies are hard to deal with, too. So, here’s what I wish people knew.

5 Annoying Things People Say About Kids’ Food Allergies

First, let’s clarify what food allergies are versus food sensitivities. An allergy is an immune response. It means that the immune system thinks that the food is a foreign invader and mounts an attack. Now, how large food molecules get into contact with the immune system when they are supposed to be broken down in the intestines is another story. But, the immune system causes inflammation and this usually occurs very soon after a person eats that food. An anaphylactic reaction (which is life-threatening) is caused by the immune system response. About 6% of U.S. children have at least one true food allergy. This means that about two children in every classroom have a food allergy.

A food sensitivity is a food that causes some sort of irritation, but is generally not life-threatening. These are far more common that true allergies, with about 20% of the U.S. population having a food intolerance of some kind. These can show up as long as three days after you ate it. An example would be lactose intolerance. This causes intestinal cramping and other unpleasant symptoms because the person can’t digest lactose. And this leads me to my first annoying thing that people say about kids’ food allergies.

Myth 1: Oh, it’s not an allergy, it’s just a sensitivity.

I have heard this so.many.times. Even though a sensitivity is not life-threatening, that doesn’t mean we should ignore it. A child won’t die from a stomach ache or a headache, but I’m sure you don’t want to be the parent dealing with that cranky kid. Usually, people say it because it’s inconvenient for them to respect the sensitivity. However, not respecting a sensitivity can, over time, cause more serious issues, such as damage to the intestinal lining which can lead to…guess what? Ways for large food particles to get into the bloodstream and cause…you guessed it…kids’ food allergies.

Myth 2: If they don’t have a rash, it isn’t an allergy.

I had a doctor say this to me and then, when I changed doctors, the new doctor looked for “allergic shiners.” I liked that doctor. He knew about kids’ food allergies and that rashes are not the only sign of allergy. Remember, allergy causes an immune response, which means inflammation, not rash. A rash is only one common manifestation of inflammation.

However, inflammation can mean swelling in the brain, in the face and eyes, in the joints, and other places. My youngest son had swelling under his eyes every time he ate corn. No rash, just lower eyelids that swelled to the size of marbles and 20 minutes later, returned to normal. But, people still kept offering him corn chips, popcorn, and soda with corn syrup. Uggh.

Myth 3: Kids’ food allergies go away when they get older.

Well, sometimes. After all, those little bodies are creating and recreating cells at an amazing rate! What their immune systems don’t like when they are six, they might be okay with when they are sixteen. However, for this to happen, parents need to be very vigilant about allergen exposure when the child is young so that the immune system can heal.

If parents and caregivers take a laissez faire attitude about kids’ food allergies, then they will likely have them for life. My oldest son tested negative for food allergies when he was little even though I suspected that he had the same ones as his siblings. He went out and ate whatever he wanted–wheat, corn, dairy, especially. By the time he was tested again several years later, he had developed a long list of allergies, which he still suffers from today. So, kids’ food allergies require that adults take them very seriously if they are ever to heal.

Myth 4: It won’t hurt if you eat it just this once, will it?

Well, when a kid has been clean of all allergens for a while, he may not have a reaction when he eats it “just this once.” And, maybe he is healed and no longer has an allergy. But, more often than not, he’s not healed. But, because there was no visible reaction, he starts eating that food more and more. Then, lo and behold. the allergy is back and now, it’s worse than it was before. That happened to me for wheat and dairy. In the end, I found myself in the hospital suffering with anaphylactic shock.

Most of the time, people don’t say this after a child has been allergen free for a while. They say it every time your family visits. Just this once really means whenever you’re at my house. Grandparents can be especially guilty of this.

Myth 5: The kids are used to not being able to eat it, so don’t worry about excluding them.

I don’t think anyone intends to make someone with kids’ food allergies feel excluded. I think that it’s more that they don’t know what to do, so they do nothing and hope the kids’ parents take care of it. Most of the time, they do. My kids’ food allergies meant that friends’ birthday parties and other gatherings demanded me to provide a suitable dessert for my kids to eat.

But, there’s more at a party than just birthday cake. What about pizza, popcorn, soda, candy, corn chips, cookies….? Many times, my child had to sit and watch other children eat all the treats while she could only eat the cake I sent. After a while, I discovered that my children were not very good at saying no and ended up feeling awful when they came home. It was super special and appreciated when a friend chose to serve snacks that were allergy friendly and order a gluten free pizza for my daughter. I wished more people, especially family members, were more respectful towards my kids’ food allergies.

Important party considerations

I understand the challenges others face when a child has many, many allergies and it may not even be safe for that child to rely on people’s good will. That’s because people mean well, but when someone has many allergies, it can be hard to bake for them. For example, I was recently at a bake sale that included an allergy-friendly table. However, the well meaning bakers didn’t list the ingredients in each of the baked goods. Because of this, one of the teens who had multiple allergies didn’t buy anything. He didn’t want to risk eating something that was gluten-free, but not dairy and egg free.

So, I highly recommend working with the child’s parents to learn what they can and cannot eat so they can safely attend your party and feel welcome. It’s not the kid’s fault and she just wants to have a normal childhood.

Does your child have kids’ food allergies?

First, the most common food allergies are dairy, eggs, wheat, shellfish, soy, peanuts, tree nuts, and fish. I would also add corn, especially since it is a bioengineered ingredient in many foods. These foods comprise about 90% of food allergies. As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, true food allergies cause an immune response that results in inflammation. So, symptoms can range from mild to severe, including hives, itching, swelling, abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, head banging or other neurological symptoms (from brain inflammation), and even anaphylaxis. It’s important to pay attention to your child’s symptoms and seek medical attention if you suspect a food allergy.

Testing for Food Allergies

So, how do we know if our child has a food allergy? The best way is through testing, which can be done by a doctor or allergist. They may perform a skin test, blood test, or an elimination diet. It’s important to get a proper diagnosis to properly manage the allergy and keep your child safe.